06 April 2009,
new skin!!

hooray!!! new skin. now my blog is neater and nicer i think? -.-
oh HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY kak sumi!!! my first sister-in-law.
well, on her birthday, we went to sentosa but it was raining heavily so we waited for the rain to stop and thank god the rain stopped. after sentosa we went up to mount Faber it was never as i expected. i though people say that the place is nice and stuff but once brother drive us up to the top i wouldn't want to see anything accept for the trees on top of me i don't ever wanna look down cause its way up high eventually for me, I'm afraid of heights so what i do is just keep looking at the trees on top of me and look at the rain drop fall from the leaves. i thought i was late for class but Indra, he was later then me. so the both of us rush down to class and i meet old friend hanafi. and lala and lalala.
today!! ho ho
i was freaking angry with Brandon! he told me he will be coming and i expected him to come eventually he did not turn up. Ayn have to go out with her mother and Brandon didn't come so my Savior was shiqi and Lenny. also i made new friends. farhan, amirul, Indra, elzwan, atiqah, sufian and the rest OK this is the only names that i remember -.- sorry to the rest i cant install your name yet in my brain but soon OK? :D
to those who didn't turn up today YOU MISS THE FUN.. hahaha..
***
go away i don't need your help anymore,where were you when my world fell apart?why do you suddenly give a shit about me?whatever,fuck you,you destroyed me,but I don't need you anymore.the darkness is eating me alive,I'm letting go,letting it win,letting it take over.so go away,your not wanted here anymore,I've had enough of you breaking me.go away my love Can you take my pain away?With one gust of wind?Please, oh please, take it away.I'm tired of feeling this way.Why won't it go?It will be here for the rest of my life.Won't it?I know it will because nothing ever goes the way I want it.I'm told it will get better.It does.But then I'm back to where I started or worse.Down and down it goes it's a bottomless pit of sadness and tears.It won't go away.And nothing can and nothing will. A second goes by i want you to know the feelings i have for you is now gone cause in my head your my life and in my heart your my world......wasting minutes as time goes by i cry alone in shame you brought thoughts i had would turn to dust your love for me in the end just rust.........years slip away voices slowly whisper you call me on the phone thinking i would listen after you thrown my heart away i justed wanted to say what i felt that day but i didn't i said just go away..... shouting your name with the loudest i can but i still hear nothing reaching for the teddy that's in front of me just to hold it tight and make it wet as i cry out loud for you is STUPID. why must you enter my life again when you know I'm forgetting you already. why must you make me feel down all the time. I enter my room,
No words left to speak, I fall to my knees,
Just feeling so weak.The room was dark,I’ve been blinded by hope,I was pushed on the ground,Left here to mope,My body felt faint, No energy in me,The bad side of love,You forced me to see.I lay on the ground,Motionless and dead, Pure hatred thoughts Running through my head.I just felt so stupid,I thought you loved me,You’ve shoved me away,Like it wasn’t meant to be.I was dumb to believe,Your sick little lie,I hope you go away,And choke and die.You mean nothing anymore,I can’t even say this,You were the only one,That showed me real happiness.I hate you so much,I don’t want to hear your name,You played with me,
Like it was all a game. now i hate you because you hate me just because I'm not you you think I am a burden but its not true I'm stuck in this world on my own with no emotions shown no one to love me and people that pretend My heart is in no condition to even mend I'm tired of all the lies you have no consideration for me and my tries Nobodies perfect and neither are you believe it or not this statement is true I am who I am your approval is not needed I love me, I guess I'm conceited I would never change especially for a person like you, if I had a chance to changes live with someone it most defiantly wouldn't be you. Like it or not I live my life the way I can I'm going to try... I'm going to try the best I can to prove you wrong It wont take very long All I have to do is take your blows, your insults, whatever you dish out and be strong...