25 May 2009,
frustration happens

feeling so cold, I feel so dead. All these voices inside of my head, Is this heaven or is this hell? I'm just a product they want to sell, There's no caring and no feeling, Just some kind of emotional void, I fight the battles just to stop them seeing, But in the end I'm the only one destroyed. I feel no pain, I feel no hate.But I realise the price too late,Is this right or is this wrong?I'm someone that doesn't belong,There's no sorrow, there's no remorse.Just some kind of emotional drone. I still remember, I still see the guy who come to me and tell me the same thing over and over again. i can even imagine him being with me when we are not together yet. the guy from my pre school, the guy from my seconday school came by and talk to me at the stairs in my new school i was happy and suprise that we are in the same school. i didn't expect that we could meet, my long lost crush came by my life. i was so happy to talk to you dear for the very first time dear. just, this days wasn't the greatest day i dont get myself either. things come and go but feelings of hurt is healing slowly and over come my weaknesses. i dont blame you from the start but i dont have the intention to have a war with you dear. none of my intention is to hurt you nor to make you feel down. i really appericiate you being with me. but sudden why came along our fine line. i love you no matter what. i need you when you need me. i love you when you say you love me too. text book by my side, it has been close from the start i pull it out from my bag. sudden tears falls in the class someone asked why i didn't know who to explain it to them. desperate for help no one seems to turn and hold my hand while i lay at the tracks. my head is heavy i couldn't get up from the track i hear train coming but i see nothing. my eyes turns red when i cry, from tears it change to blood. i couldn't take this life anymore things are getting from bad to worse. i pretend nothing is happening cause i don't want you to think or stress about me i don't want to let it show. I've never been this worse but i have to accept the fact that this is life, anything can come in my way. i love you and i really do.. thanks for the helping hand syaza
im sorry baby lovehappy belated bird-day ida.
ps sorry dear