04 May 2009,
topicless

i miss mom when she's not at home. but sometimes i got annoyed by her words even how irritating she could be, i sill love her. my mom is the strongest mom of all. without husband for years, she's not bothering about it. i don't know why i miss her so much. yea you could call me mommas girl but who care?! she's my mom though.
***
This is the story of my past life, Of how day after day I cried How I felt alone and scared Of all the people who stared I had no idea. back stabbed me as she like. hate me like all of you want. i don't give a damn. but nothing involves my BOYFRIEND, he have nothing to do with all this. That I'd be happy again. Then I met my classmates, the first few weeks of the school was OK after each of them bitch about me and slowly showed me their true colours but i stick to Cinderella all the time, since the first day till now. through hard times we are always together. my fairytale friends is there when i needed them when ever I'm alone, scared and upset they are there to set things out normally we were all best friends. we make our own outings, plans and stuff together. they never disappoint me at all... but Now things are falling apart. A sad, depressing art Now I'm back to the start My life is spinning like a shopping cart. Now what should I do? i don't want us to drift apart but I'm also not your punching bag where you could let all your anger on me. dragging me where ever you want. i hope this wont hurts or make any of you disappointed but i don't want to let it all out cause i don't want us to fight over small things. The knot holding my life together is loose So now I'm alone and I refuse So now I'll tighten the knot Talk things through Hope they can all hear me shout i know it was my fault I'm always with her. i can be friends with her can i? i can be friends with anyone i want right? just one thing, i want to be treated equally, nice. not with harsh tones in sudden. when you are pissed don't put pressure on me or us instead share it. that's what friends are for. sharing secrets, problems and thoughts. we are friends and we should understand each other. i know i said all this but I'm not sharing you guys what my feelings are cause i don't want us to fight. i appreciate our friendship i don't want to destroy it away. i don't want to end our friendship.
***
Lying here watching the stars at night, Thinking about the person I was and the person I am now, You see, once upon a time, I tried to beat the darkness, Tried to beat it all alone, but really, I couldn't’t have done it without you... I won’t lie, I was one of them, a dreamer, a believer, But dreams were broken and fragile hearts were torn, Didn’t expect it to repair nor did I expect it to be reborn. Was so young, so vulnerable and stupid, I fell for their stupid scheming ways, To watch me love then watch me hurt, Built me up to break me down, you could say. For so long I have lived this life through pretence, Some could even say denial, I just hated the pain, the pressure and fear, Didn’t want it to be heard nor did I want it to be seen. Dreams and wishes don’t always come true, As you, yourself, may have already experienced, So It was pretty unexpected to see it come about this way, But now, I think it’s time to let you in on the things you never knew.As I’m lying here under the stars tonight, The butterflies break free and flutter all around me, Can you guess why that is? cause, I’m lying here thinking of you. The way you’ve changed me, And made me who I am today, The way you’ve brought out the best in me, And the way your presence has become the happiness within me. I feel as though I’m lost in a fairytale, Can’t help but hope it’ll be a never-ending one, Because you’re like the perfect lullaby, Which helps me sleep at night. You’re the sweet dreams I don’t want to wake up from, And when I’m not dreaming, I’m absorbed in thought, I’ll spend every minute of every day, thinking of you, Because “I Love You So Much, And I Can’t Love Anyone More Than I Love You”. Can I be honest? I don’t wish to take a breath without you, But even so, I’ll tattoo your name across my heart, That way, nothing can tear me away from you, But for all I care, you can have my heart; just so long as I have you. Yes, dreams can be broken and hearts can be torn, But dreams can become reality and hearts repair with time, Trust me, I am living proof of this, So don’t give up hope, keep on fighting through, For I am someone who’ll believe in you. And to, Firdaus Wee my dear, that one person, who changed my life; Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, You not only gave me hope but a purpose to live as well, And I can’t escape these feelings I feel for you, but the thing is, I honestly don’t think I want to, So it looks like you’re stuck with me forever, I'll be yours eternally, Because for you, I have this eternal love, I never hope to break from.