15 May 2009,
what now

was it me or things happening around me. are all guys all the same or they really mean what they are doing is right its just me, me who don't appreciate it, everything. I'm not gonna start any war but all i want is, to be loved by someone. if its just difficult to get one then why do they tell me they care? is my love just not enough for you . why am i crying till tears drop countless. i couldn't really breathe now but I'm still crying. all i could see is tears on my lappy. why is this happening to me. i don't wish to end my relationship with you dear. nether I need to know your problems, I'm your girlfriend. why problem come after problems. i couldn't stand strong anymore. my heart is crying. my throat is dry. my eyes is watery. i feel like I've swallowed a huge pillow and its processing in my system. my head is heavy my brain cant stop pumping so hard. i though you were never what i think you are now. i dont want you to think that you are a failure. we could face all the problems together. you were never the mistake in my life. you were my everything. i don't care if they likes you or they don't. what i know is i love you for who you are. i know you are down i know what you feel, i feel it too. i keep on trying and slowly dying thinking about you here with me. i don't want you to feel down. yes, i have my weekends with dance and stuff but you, you could try to do something just don't tangled there with your bands i know you can achieve it.i have faith in you. i know you can do it alone without them but with me. they turn you down so many times. they are your cousins but that doesn't mean that everything is your job. you could either do it alone and I'll stand by you or you could even fine some better ones. just remember that i will be by your side no matter what happen. when you fall back I'm there to push you back and hug you so tight if anything bad happen. I'm standing here Trying to figure out Where I went wrong My family is leaving One by one My friends are dieing As I'm just standing i cant' do anything My life is upside down Where did i go wrong i can't find my love ones Who are gone Their somewhere in this world Where did I go wrong I don't know why But it seems its my fault So Where did I go wrong be strong baby you know how much i love you.
*i think i should stop doing sins to people. started to feel afriad of life after death. i shouldn't be so mean to mom. eventhough daddy have left us i still miss and love him plus a mixture feelings of hate. but mom, she's the only one who can cheer my day when im down. i love you mom*